Making things happen.

Hello again everyone!

Spring break is over. It was a nice little vacation even though I didn't actually go anywhere. I wasn't ready to start back today, but alas, I caught another little break. My Spanish class was cancelled today. This gave me the opportunity to do some research (and grab a Vitamin Water and Kashi bar) and figure out how to change my major. All I had to do was email the undergraduate coordinator for the psychology department and go from there. So I just emailed him and I'm currently waiting to hear back.

I sure hope this works. I hope I haven't ruined my GPA enough to not be able to change majors. I hope I haven't really screwed myself over as far as my college education goes. I know my parents would flip out if they knew how badly I'm doing in school. I mean it could be worse, but this isn't like me at all. But y'know, when you live 45 minutes away from your school, and your whole life is in a completely different city, it's easy to get behind, to lose interest, to not care. And don't get me wrong, I care. I just have trouble getting motivated. But maybe this major change thing will help out a lot. Maybe if I can start taking class I really enjoy - like the upper level psych classes, maybe some more English courses - I can start finding the motivation to succeed.

I have a feeling things are going to get better though. John will be going to Coastal in the fall. I not looking forward to him being gone AT ALL, but in a way it will eliminate one of my biggest distractions (yes babe, you are a distraction, but a damn good one :] ). So maybe then I can really focus on school and not spend so much time in Greenville. Jamie is also an issue - not the bad kind, she's just my best friend and like John, she's a good distraction. But it's okay. When John leaves, I'll probably have a set schedule and I'll just make certain times I can hang out with her and the rest of the time I'm going to devote to school. I feel confident about this. I can do this.

I'm so glad there's only like 5 more weeks of school. This first year at Clemson was not at all what I wanted it to be, but it's coming to an end and I feel like I'm getting the opportunity to make changes and better myself. I'm looking forward to it.

So here we go! Now I'm off to chemistry. Wish me luck with this psychology thing. Later!

Just an update.

Hello and good morning to everyone. Haven't been on here in a while, and if anyone really reads this, I apologize. But life has been pretty damn hectic since my last post. Christmas break flew by, and I had to dive right in to the spring semester here at Clemson. It certainly hasn't been a walk in the park though. Quite the opposite actually. John's aunt passed away, and even though she wasn't my relative, it affected me a good bit - mostly because it put a lot of stress on my relationship with John. But alas, she isn't suffering anymore and John and I made it through the storm.

So that brings me here. Today is my last day of class before spring break, and I'm feeling really good about life. I just recently decided to change my major to psychology, to try something a little more on my level. I haven't spoken to my advisor yet, and it looks like I'm going to have to wait until after spring break, but I'm doing it. I'm not doing well in the science department - I really don't think it's my thing - and it sucks because I would love to go into the medical field. But I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I should (at the risk of sounding cliche) go in a different direction. Even if that means giving up my nursing dream, or even gynecology. I'll get there eventually. But psychology is something I've always enjoyed, and I've never struggled with it. Plus, according to all the research I've done, there are tons of employment opportunities (good ones), and the pay is actually pretty good. So I'm really looking forward to going after this.

I think I'm just at a point in my life where I'm really figuring out who I am and what I want and don't want. I want a good job and to be happy. I want to live near the beach in a nice house and have a nice car. But I don't want to kill myself in school to do it. I don't want to sit around studying a bunch of material that bores me just to fail my tests and spend and extra two years in college. I could be going to grad school instead. So that's what I'm going to do.

I'm also not going to waste my time with people who aren't going to help me. I have a handful of people that I'm close to, who really know me, and who truly care about me. I love these people with all my heart, and there isn't really room for anyone else. I don't want to be surrounded with silly and unnecessary drama. I have parents who care about me, and my relationship with them continues to grow on a daily basis. Now that I'm getting older and becoming an adult, we all seem to be getting along better and understanding each other. We're actually having fun these days. In fact, a lot of fun. I'm actually going to two concerts with my dad this year (Tom Petty AND Iron Maiden), and that never happens.

I also have a boyfriend who loves me very much, and I'm blessed to have him in my life. Sure, we have our ups and downs just like any couple, but somehow, we manage to get closer and closer every single day. And then I have my best friend Jamie. She's the best friend I could've ever asked for. She's almost ten years older than me with four kids, but she is the greatest. We have an awesome relationship. I can tell her anything and vice versa. We actually teach each other things about life, and it's helping us both grow. I really hope I never lose her.

So that's my reflection for the day. For the month. Until I can come back to this blog. Hopefully I can start posting on a more regular basis, especially since school will be winding down soon. Until then, I'm going to go enjoy my spring break and hopefully get a lot accomplished. So, here I go. Got a positive outlook on life and I'm ready to get started. Let's do this!

Well I think I'm going places.

So, one of my good friends just found out today that she got into Greenville Tech's nursing program. She's been  on a waiting list for like a year now. I'm really happy for her, truly I am. But at the same time, I'm slightly jealous. Now she gets to live the dream. She already has her brand new Jeep Liberty (a really badass Liberty at that, it's the Jet Sport edition), she has a full-time job at the hospital in patient transport making over $10/hr. plus she gets benefits, and now she's into one of the best nursing programs in the upstate. Granted, I've got a pretty good life too. It's my first year at Clemson, I have an amazing boyfriend (and we're closer than ever), and I have a steady job too. But I'm not exactly where I want to be. I see Civic Si's and Lexus IS250's and Mini Coopers everywhere and wish I were driving them. I want to make more money and have a good job. And I want to be in a nursing program too. I'm applying to Clemson's nursing program next year. I want to get my GPA in tip-top shape first though. This semester has been such an adjustment, and I want to be on track before I do anything major. Anyway, I guess I'm just more determined than ever to make my future start happening.

On another note, John came to Clemson to visit me today. It was a surprise, a very appreciated one at that. He and I had lunch at El Jimador, a little Mexican restaurant near campus, then we grabbed smoothies (half price!) at the '55 Exchange, and then we headed over to the Botanical Gardens for a brief study break. I took a couple of pictures while I was there. The place is just so beautiful, especially this time of year. I'm hoping John and I can go back next week on Black Friday and take some pictures together.

Come to think of it, the whole campus is pretty beautiful this time of year. Definitely my favorite season. The leaves are all orange and yellow, and the air is nice and cool. The best part is that it's almost time for the holidays. Thanksgiving is just over a week away. I'm actually looking forward to the break from school though. And work is going to be fun. I'm working from 4pm to 1am the night before Thanksgiving, and my best friend Jamie will be there with me. It's going to be a fun shift. And Thanksgiving Day will be nice too, as I'm spending the day with John and his family at his grandmother's house. I can't wait to see the leaves up around her house. I bet it's absolutely beautiful right now. And speaking of, John and I have actually thought about planning a wedding there. A fall wedding. It would be so pretty, and I could encorporate my school's color (and hopefully John's too!) into the theme. No formal plans have been made, but it's a nice idea.

Christmas break is just around the corner too. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to going to the mall with John and feeling the holiday spirit (okay, that sounded a little cheesy, my bad). And date nights. He and I haven't been able to have a legit date night in forever. You know, one of those where we actually ride together to a restaurant and have a nice, relaxing dinner and have one of those fun couple talks and just spend the evening together? Yeah we never get to do that. School and work and time and money are always problems. But hopefully we'll be able to find the time and money over break. And *crosses fingers* I really, really hope we get to have one of those days where we spend the morning in his room and get to watch Up All Night or a movie and snuggle and have macaroni for lunch. But the weather has to be perfect. It has to be cold and rainy. And it would be best if it were a day when neither of us had to work, but the last day we had like that was so therapeutic that it didn't even bother me that I had to work. So, once again I'm hoping time is on our side. Oh! And I forgot! John and I are going to the Biltmore House again this year! Only this time we're going with a real couple, our good friends Heather and Matt. I'm so excited. Christmas at Biltmore is absolutely stunning! And the hot chocolate is a bonus, hehe! 

Anyway, it's taken me forever to write this blog - and I realize how short it is - but I'm going to end it now. I just hope that John and I can get through these next few stressful weeks. I know what's waiting on the other side will be well worth it. 

Goodnight all!

Good fucking morning.

I'm in math. The way our class is set up, we have a website where we do all of our work, and then the teacher has "mini-lectures" set up that are 15-20 minutes long. Some students are assigned to the mini-lectures, while those who aren't have "independent work time" on the website. Well, the website is down this morning. The people who were assigned a comprehensive assessment got to leave. The teacher said that if we have a worksheet printed out to work on that, but I don't have mine with me. Then she said we could do work from another class, but all my stuff is in the car, which is on the other side of campus. Well, class is half way over and she said if we didn't have a worksheet to do we could leave....unless our name is down for a mini-lecture. And of course, mine is. But not just any one - the very last one of the class, from 8:50 to 9:10. So I'm just sitting here wasting time until then. It wouldn't be such a big deal if I hadn't woken up at 6:30 and drove all the way from Easley to get here (when I don't have much gas left). Oh well. Just another "If I lived on campus...." moment.

So, I guess I'll just sit here and figure out what I'm gonna do today. Jamie will probably want me to come by today, or come see her at work. I'd love to, but I don't really have the gas to go to Greenville, and I have homework. But I may end up going to Greenville anyway. I just have to get some school work done first. Gotta  read for English, the first two chapters of Haroun and the Sea of Stories. Gotta read a story in Spanish and answer some questions for it. Actually I think that's all I need to do today. Goody.

Well, time for my mini-lecture. Love you all.

Ya snooze ya looze.

Okay, so I just had my third biology test. I wasn't fully prepared, but I will be for the next one.
I bombed my English essay. The teacher hated it. Ripped it apart. Pulled out its insides. And stomped on them. So, I've gotta stay ahead with all of my reading from now on so I can get participation points.

I have to do math. Dear god. I'm going to have to spend an entire weekend doing nothing but math. I have no choice.

And Spanish. I'm doing okay in Spanish. I just have to remember all the extra fucking online homework my teacher loves to give.

Whatever. I'll be okay. I have like a month left of school. Can't just let it go by without trying. No sir. I'm gonna be a good student these last few weeks and make it count. Hereee we gooooo!

Ready or not.

So I'm in math right now. I left my notebook in the car so I don't have any scratch paper to do work. But I'm making use of the spare campus bus route map I had in my laptop bag.

I'm going to talk to my advisor when I get out of class this morning. I have an appointment with him to go over my transcript and my current class schedule so I can figure out what I'll be taking in the spring. I'm really excited, but I'm a little scared at the same time. I'm barely making it through this semester, so what in the world is spring going to be like? If it's anything like this semester has been, it's gonna be one hectic rollercoaster. But it's coming, whether I'm ready or not.

I hope we get out of class a few minutes early. I really have to pee.

On a different note, I talked to my best friend Jamie this morning. She told me that she'll be back to work next week, which is awesome. I've missed her. (She's been on maternity leave since September 15. She now has a month-old baby boy named Evan who is absolutely precious.) I hope her family stops giving her trouble though.  Right now, it's Jamie, her husband Brad, her four children (Lexi, Bailey, Callaway, and Evan), and Brad's mom Charlene, living together in a very small house. It's cramped, and with a newborn and the girls being in school, things are kinda tense for them right now. It stresses Jamie out, for sure. I wish she and I could have a girls' day and go get pedicures or something, but neither one of us seems to have time or money for that. Maybe soon though. Or maybe over Christmas break!

Oy, Christmas. It's less than two months away. Walmart has all their Christmas decorations out already. I love the holidays, really. It's a beautiful time of year, even though the weather turns freezing and all the trees lose their orange and red leaves. Still, it makes me all warm and fuzzy and I can't wait. Problem is, I really don't have any money to buy gifts this year. This past summer wiped out all my money, and I haven't been able to work much since school started. But it'll still be a good holiday season.

In fact, it may be the best one yet. Of course, I don't want to jinx anything. But I feel like things are in a better place than they've ever been. I'm in a new school, and John and I have different, better people in our lives now. No immature drama, no bitches, no douchebags. Only the people that matter. People like Heather and Matt, who are getting married in April. Heather asked me to be her bridesmaid! We spent Halloween with them at their apartment, and it was a blast. I imagine we'll have a Christmas get-together there as well. And John's friend Myles. I don't really know him that well, but he doesn't seem like a prick. And another one of John's friends, Aaron. I go to school with him (even though I didn't know it until recently), but we're in the process of making plans to hang out with him and his girlfriend, who is 20 weeks pregnant!

I just think things are falling into place. School is crazy, work is busy, but John and I are closer than we've ever been, and this is the way things are supposed to be right now. And that just makes the holidays even more exciting. I can't wait.

But now class is over and it's time to meet with my advisor. Toodles!

Gotta get it together.

So, school has been a hectic journey from the very beginning. Transferring schools and figuring out where I stand as far as class year and course credits was stressful enough, but now I'm up to my eyeballs in things to do. Now, don't get me wrong - I fucking love my school. I'm the first person in my family to go to college, and I'm going to Clemson. One of the best schools in the south. In the country, maybe. (Hey, our football team is #5 nationally, thanks.)

I guess I just feel disconnected right now. I'm living at home and commuting to campus, which is about a 45 minute trip each way. By the time I get to school, I don't really feel like going to class, and by the time I get home, I don't really feel like doing homework for the next three or four hours. I feel more like taking a nap. Plus, it limits the social interaction I get. I only talk to the people in my classes, and I rarely see them outside of class. It's not that big of a deal though.

My main issue is the workload. We're getting ready to register for the spring semester, but I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to get through the fall. Just this week, I have a shitload of homework:
- read 133 pages of Oryx and Crake by Friday.
- start my second English essay (1000 words)
- study for a Spanish test

- complete 10 online Spanish activities on the supersite
- complete another 3 assignments on a different Spanish website
- make an outline for my Spanish presentation
- make some attempt at doing my LearnSmart assignments for biology
- play catch-up on my math class

It doesn't look like too much when I write it out like that, but it's just time-consuming. (And I know, you're probably thinking, "What a whiny little thing she is," but I'm really not whining. I'm just trying to put everything in perspective for myself.

Alas, I'll get it all done. I just have to hold a job, a home life, and a boyfriend together at the same time. Of course, all those are easy. John is always understanding (even though it's easy to pick spending time with him over schoolwork. What can I say? He's easy on the eyes :P ) It would be nice though, to have some sort of life without the stress of knowing school work awaits me whenever I return. But hey, that's life. And Clemson's not a bad place to be when you're stressed.

Now that I mention it, Clemson is the best place to be. I know a lot of people probably take it for granted, but this place is gorgeous. Especially now that it's fall. AND our football team is kicking ass this year. Right now we're 8-0 and ranked 5th in the whole country! That kind of stuff doesn't normally happen wherever I go to school (my high school team lost almost every game my junior and senior year, and Greenville Tech is so lame it doesn't have sports), so yeah I'm pretty fucking excited.

While all this is going on though, John's stuck in a rut with college. His "dream" school, Coastal Carolina, completely failed to meet his expectations, and now his parents are only concerned with the fact that he's "indecisive". So basically, he now has to start all over and find a really good school that's right for him. And in the midst of all this stress, I'm trying to be as supportive as I can. Really. He needs it. He has nobody else. I just hope it all works out for him because I can't stand seeing him get shot down at every turn.

Anyway, it's taken me long enough to post this, and whoever's reading it is probably bored by now. So I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my lunch here at Cooper Library and talk to my handsome boyfriend. Bye y'all!